All of Me
by Blue Quartz
Summary: Originally a one-shot song fic. As Kyou and Tohru draw closer together Kagura finds herself facing a diffucult choice that could make or break her.
1. All of Me

All of Me  
  
Notes: This is my first ever, and hopefully successful, songfic. This will be a Kagura centric fic so if you don't like the character, or the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence then please save yourself the trouble of flaming me by not reading this fic. Warning there be a few moments of OOC since I haven't read all of the manga or seen any of the anime so please bear with me. I do not own Fruit Basket or "My Immortal" so please don't sue. Thanks for reading and enjoy ^_^  
  
Sitting down on the curved seat of the swing I lift my eyes from its' preoccupation with the dirt ground to become level with the world around me. It is a small playground, not too far from the Souma family complex, which is where I should be since it will be night soon; but for now I just want to stand, or rather sit and think about things. I can feel a small smile cross my lips as I recall that I only have a few months at the junior college before I can finally graduate. I can hardly wait to go out on my own, maybe even leave Japan for a while, but I am kind of hesitant of leaving because that would mean that I would have to get permission from Akito to leave.  
  
I am so tried of being here  
  
Chills crawl down my spine as I remember all the acts of violence that he has inflicted on my cousins over the years.  
  
Would he be mad at me if I were to leave? I don't see why he would want me to stay though. I am not important like Hatori or Shigure, now as valuable to him as Yuki. So there should be no reason why he wouldn't allow me to leave Japan. However, if nothing else, living under Akito's rule has taught me that the man is very dangerous and unpredictable.  
  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears.  
  
My hands lightly grasp the cool metal chains of the swing; I push my feet back and forth to give me just enough momentum to rise a few inches above the ground. A cold autumn breeze arises to run its' phantom fingers through my hair. I want to go higher and faster. I pick up my feet, kicking up dirt as I try to rise. A short giggle bursts from my lips as I slowly arise only to descend back then to rise. I don't think that I'll ever become too old to enjoy playing on the swings. No, this is one joy that I intend to keep and guard with my life just like my Kyo, I'll never give this up.  
  
Suddenly my heart sinks back towards the ground along side the swing.  
  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
  
I shake my head, trying to ward off the feelings that I know are going to come. First they stir just below the surface, tiny pinpricks of discomfort; but steadily they grow and intensify until it feels like I can hardly breathe. It has been several months now, but it still hurts, so much so that at times I wish I were dead or wish him dead. I try to brush these thoughts aside but it is a futile effort and it is made worse by the fact that I know what is to come. Oh why can't I just forget him!? Why can't I just erase all of these useless feelings!? Why can't the memory of him just leave me in peace?  
  
Cause your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone  
  
He is so much happier without me interfering, I can see it in the way he acts, he is becoming less harsh against others and he smiles a lot more, more than even when we were kids. He is happy. So why am I not happy for him? Is it because I am not the one who gets him to smile? That I am missing out on being near him, to talk to him the way I want to instead of the normal possessive rage that overtakes me? Yes, I am miserable because I can still see him from a distance but it is like I am on the inside looking out or maybe it is that he is inside and I am the one locked outside.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
There are times that I want to scream at her, "He's mine! I don't care what you feel for him, he is mine and he has always been mine! You don't deserve him!" But just when I approach her with those words on my mind I stop myself because of the beautiful light that I see in her eyes. The brilliant shine of a girl in love; I should know since I have seen it reflected back at me when I would catch my reflection in the mirror when I was thinking about Kyo. Then I feel horrible, so ashamed of my venomous thoughts. I don't feel worthy to even be around them even if I just think those awful things.  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
Next comes the eating doubt that maybe Kyo never liked me because I was never pretty enough for him, or smart, or sweet enough. False hope springs up from this doubt, because I imagine what would happen if I could change, if I could become prettier, smarter, and kinder. Maybe, I wonder, maybe he can finally love me if I could do those things. But then I realize that yes I can do all those things, that I can become a different person just for him but no matter how hard I try there is one thing that I'll never be in his eyes.  
  
Her.  
  
Then the cycle begins all over again until I can bottle it all up and find something to distract my mind with something else.  
  
There is just too much that time cannot erase.  
  
For months I have kept all of these thoughts and feelings locked away inside of me. It is not that I am too paranoid to trust anyone with my secrets, but I would hate to think what Kyo would think of me if he knew that I was still hanging on to him all this time. It was all right to love him for years when we were kids because she wasn't in the picture yet; I had a right to my fantasies but now that she is his love while I am abandoned I don't even have the right to claim him as mine. He would think me pathetic if I were to just march over the Shigure's right now and hug him, boldly declaring my love for him especially in front of her. Amazing how just a few short months can change a one-sided love that has been building for years.  
  
That is what hurts the most. Kyo and I have been friends for years; since we were little kids, we both practice martial arts together under the same teacher, and we even share the burden of the curse. I loved him before they even met. It should be me by his side, me who should experience my last years as a child with, me who should become an adult alongside him. It should be me. But even with all of my love, time, and devotion.it isn't me who will be by his side forever and it will never be.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all your tears.  
  
I have always wanted to be there for him. When we were kids I watched over him like an older sister or maybe his mother whom he lost tragically. I wanted to hold him close when he cried so that I could whisper reassurances to him. I wanted to tell him that I was there to protect and love him when no one else would. His sorrow, his anger, his loneliness, and the extra burden of his curse; any and everything I wanted to take from him and carry as my own responsibility.  
  
When you'd scream I would fight away all of your fears.  
  
Even when I was younger I knew that Kyo deserved a better life than the one he was living so I tried to do everything in my power to make him happy; I wanted nothing more than to make him smile. But even when I would try my hardest to please him or help him he would get mad and yell at me. At first his brass nature disturbed me and sometimes caused me to cry myself to sleep especially in these recent years. No matter what I did he never smiled for me. But then she came. And all she has to do to make him smile is to act natural around him and he smiles at her; even I have to admit that when he smiles at her he looks so unbelievably handsome.  
  
And I've held your hand for all of these years.  
  
Sometimes I wonder why it had to be her? Why did it have to be someone outside of our clan? Could it be that he loves her because she isn't apart of the clan, because she doesn't suffer from the curse yet still loves him? Could it be that they are in love because they are worlds apart in differences? So many questions whirl about in my head but it is not my place to solve them. They are together and that is all that should matter. They are happy and I want to be happy for them. But I still can't rid myself of this consuming sorrow.  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
I feel so lost now that I know that he will never be mine. I poured so much of myself into the illusion that he loved me that now I feel so empty. I want it all back but at the same time I want to hold on to these feelings because at times they seem to be the only thing left that I have to remember our times together by.  
  
You used to captive me by your resonating life  
  
I want to remember the days when I would just watch him through the corner of my eye and later giggle on my way home on how clever I was. I want to hold on to those nights were I would fall asleep with a sweet dream of a true confession of love from Kyo. I just wish for one more moment where he could hold my attention captive without me feeling guilty for loving someone who doesn't belong to me. But now I am not even allowed the privilege of fantasy without the eating guilt for loving someone whom now belongs to another.  
  
Now I am bound by the life you left behind.  
  
I still dream about him. But instead of the childish dreams of love and marriage I only see him in my nightmares. These dreams tear at my soul inch by inch with sharpened claws because I can see his face; hear his voice as clear as a bell. But I can't touch him, not even a hug because he is too far in the distance. So I run.  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
I race to catch up with him, hoping to catch him and hold him in my arms at last. The closer I move the further away he seems but I still pursue him. Then he stops long enough for me to catch him only when I reach to embrace him does he move towards her and hugs her instead. And I can hear him say the words that I have longed to hear for years so freely to her. "I love you." It is at this moment that I awake to a scream ripped from my own throat and heartbroken sobs.  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me  
  
I pull harder on the metal chain of the swing as I lower my head to look down at the ground. I want to scream at the injustice of it all. I want to laugh at the horrible irony that I still chase after him even if it is only in my dreams. But most of all I want to cry. My heart feels so heavy and yet empty at the same time. Closing my eyes I allow only a few tears to fall. I am mourning both the lost of my childish dreams and the death of the Kyo that I had created in my mind.  
  
The real Kyo is not the person that I have loved. The real Kyo is a human being of flesh, blood, and soul. He and my Kyo are two different people because they love two different people. But now my Kyo is gone. All that is left is the real Kyo and I don't want him even if he was offered on a silver platter to me.  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
He loves Tohru; the real Kyo never even knew that I existed for anything more than an annoying little girl that followed him around only because she was feeding an insatiable and impatient dream. For once it is I whom is invisible, it is not because I have been forgotten or abandoned because my friends and family still love and care about me; but I can't shake the feeling that I am insignificant to the only person who means the world to me. I can stand right beside him while Tohru could be miles ahead of us and he still wouldn't notice me because he is looking ahead for her.  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
Well, as they say three is a crowd, so I suppose that I have found one more reason for me to leave this place after I graduate. It is impossible for me to stay here without the effect of either interfering with Kyo and Tohru's love or going insane; both options I want to avoid. I arise from the swing just as the sun finally lies down beyond the horizon while night slowly creeps up to take the sky unawares. Turning my head I take one last look at the sky bleeding a vibrant crimson. Now the sky is torn between the light and the dark with the dark winning, but even now there is for hope since the first bright shining star has made its' grand entrance. A bittersweet smile cross my lips as I find the irony in that the first star was the one to receive my nightly prayer that Kyo would one day love me.  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
But even stars can't grant all wishes, so I'll say goodbye to those childish dreams and find something new to long for. Something or maybe someone else to devote my passion to; there is still that consuming fear that might not ever met anyone that I could love as much as I do Kyo. I shake my head, lets' not even go there. What's done is done and if I want my friends to have the happiness they deserve, especially Kyo, then the least I can do is stay out of both of their lives as much as possible. So maybe I won't even wait until I graduate to leave, forget telling my mom and Rin goodbye, forget even asking Akito's permission to leave Japan. I just want to escape, to runaway from these haunting memories and endless sting of emotions that I know are wrong for me to feel. Maybe tonight I'll just take what is left and..  
  
But you still have  
  
Disappear.  
  
All of me 


	2. Crucify

All of Me  
  
Notes: ..Ugh! I can't believe this, it was suppose to be a songfic, just one little, one-shot songfic, but now I have got so many ideas going through my head that it is pathetic! That's right people I am back and with a surprise second chapter of what was suppose to be one songfic. Anyway I would like to thank everyone whom reviewed what used to be a songfic and what might now become an epic, there goes the summery. Same flaming rule applies as of last time, same goes for copyrights, oh but I'll be adding a new song quote to each chapter so I don't own those either so please don't sue me. Thanks for reading and enjoy ^_^  
  
P.S the quotes are from "Crucify" by Tori Amos, kind of morbid song but to me very relevant to this fic and the first song quote in the beginning is from "My Immortal" both songs I do not own.  
  
Chapter One  
  
Crucify  
  
I am so tired of being here "My Immortal"  
  
I have made my decision.  
  
I have got a bowling ball in my stomach  
  
Tonight I'll runaway.  
  
I got a desert in my mouth.  
  
Normally I wouldn't even consider such an option for what is Kagura Souma but stubborn and courageous.  
  
Figures that my courage would chose to sell out now  
  
But I am out of options. I can't stay here because just seeing them together, knowing that they live under the same roof is driving me crazy; but on the other hand I don't want to stand in the way of love, especially theirs. It is so hard to just resign myself to just remain hidden in the shadows while they pursue this relationship. I am alone in this venture of healing and search for my purpose in this life.  
  
Why do we crucify ourselves?  
  
Home is slowly coming into sight, a warm welcome to a traveler. Quickly I slide the front door back and slip off my shoes. I glance at the mat to notice only one other pair of shoes lying on the mat, Rin's school shoes. Since she is not in the living room or the kitchen she is probably in her room studying or writing more poetry. Most people don't know this about Rin but she is a very good writer and her poems, though a bit dark a morbid sometimes, are enjoyable to read from time to time. Anyway since she is nowhere to be found that means that I will at least have at least an hour to myself. More than enough time to pack before I leave.  
  
I've been raising up my hands  
  
As I scuffle down the hallway in my house slippers I suddenly find myself bombarded by the unwanted emotions that I wanted to run away from.  
  
Drive another nail in  
  
Not now I try to plead, I don't want to be overwhelmed by these stupid feelings not when I still have to plan out my escape. My fortitude lasts long enough to get me behind the door of my room, for as soon as I slide it shut I feel the first scolding tear drop slide down my face. I don't want to cry! Not now, not when I have already fleshed out the wounds deeper than I had wished to. I keep telling myself that there is nothing that I can do.  
  
Just what God needs, one more victim  
  
I can't change his mind in just days after I have wasted years doing everything in my power to get him to love me. He loves her; I can't change that anymore than I can change the curse that plagues the life of my relatives and myself. I can't.deal with this overwhelming pain and rejection. I feel like dying.  
  
Why do we crucify ourselves?  
  
Slowly I walk across my room, half blinded by tears, to reach my bed, which I throw myself upon. Feeling the warm softness and comfort of the familiar sheets and mound of pillows causes my tears to fall anew. I want to end this mad roller coaster of emotion but each time I try to bring all of these troubling thoughts and emotions into the open I close them up before I start to reach too deep. Heaven only knows what lies at the heart of this matter.  
  
Everyday I crucify myself  
  
But I have to face all of it now because I have kept everything locked away for so long. The tears gush endlessly from the corners of my eyes that I have closed tightly to prevent their escape. I can't cry because everyone could tell just by looking at my dry red eyes and blushing nose and cheeks that I have been crying. This I can't allow to happen. It is my responablity to keep cheerful; my burden to act normal, as if none of what is going on around me is affecting me. It is next to impossible to smile if you have tears in your eyes and a heart that feels like a thousand pound weight hanging in your chest.  
  
And my heart is sick of being in these chains  
  
I need to break away from this cycle of pain and restriction but even now when I am planning to escape the source of the problem do I find myself incapable of doing anything but crying.  
  
I've got to have my suffering  
  
Tonight will be the night that I end all of this pain but how can I do that if it keeps returning with each fresh teardrop? Let it go. Just forget about him for an hour or two, long enough to pack your bags and leave forever. I try to tell myself these things as encouragement but all the words do is open the wounds wider. Leave forever? Never to come back to at least visit my family and cousins? Never be able to see Tohru or Kyou ever again?  
  
So I can have my cross  
  
Suddenly I picture Tohru and Kyou older, out of college, and with a family of their own. I couldn't have helped it, I screamed. I buried my face into the nearest pillow and holler my heartbroken screams into the fluffed goose feathers. No! I don't want to see them married; I don't want to see them ever again! I can live without ever seeing my family just as long as I don't have to see them start a life together.  
  
I know a cat named Easter who says, "Will you ever learn?"  
  
That is it; I lift myself off of my bed to the floor. Quickly I sling the door to my closet open as I rummage around for the lightest suitcase in my possession yet big enough to hold a suitable amount of clothing and other necessities while I journey onward to my new life. My hands shake as they busy themselves with stuffing the suitcase that I have chosen. Tears still fall as soon as I wipe their ancestors away. I have got to get out of this house, out of the Souma complex, and more importantly out of this hell of turbulent emotions. There is no need to stay where I am not needed especially now that I am starting to feel like I am slowly dying from the inside out.  
  
You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird  
  
My suitcase is halfway full by the time my mind clears just enough for me to realize just what I am doing.  
  
I have been raising up my hand, drive another nail in  
  
Running away from home. Is that a real solution or just another substitution for the cure? Besides isn't running away from one's problems something childish and immature action to take? I am an adult now; I should be able to handle this in an adult manner instead of running the other direction. Why can't I just talk to Kyo and Thoru face to face and tell them how I feel? Why can't I just be honest when it really counts?  
  
Got enough guilt to start my own religion  
  
At this moment I realize that even thought I am an adult I am still holding on to my fears like a child. I fear Kyou's rejection, I fear what Tohru will think of me when I tell her that I am still in love with her boyfriend. I don't want to see their expressions, I don't want to hear their replies or feel their pity. I just want to escape it all before it becomes too late. With that in mind I finish packing my suitcase and shutting it with a firm snap. There is no turning back now, I am leaving and nothing is going to stop me.  
  
Or at least that is what I thought before I slide the door of my room open. Upon sliding the door fully out of my way did I see Rin calmly standing in the darken hallway as if she had all the time in the world. I feel a warm flush spread across my face now that I realize that I have been caught. This feeling lasts for only a moment because I remember that I am not alone in this heartache because Rin herself must have experienced these same feelings when she had to break up with Haru. Yes, if anyone was to understand what I was going through it would be Rin so she wouldn't prevent me from escaping; or so I thought.  
  
Please be  
  
"Kagura, what are you doing?" Rin asked in a cold and detached sort of tone. A chill creeps down my spine as I mentally compare Rin's voice to my mother's scolding tone. I move to open my mouth, as my brain searches for an excuse but before I can even reply Rin lunges forward and snatches the loaded suitcase away from my hand.  
  
Save me  
  
"Hey, give that back Rin!" I cry out in protest but my cousin ignores my plea and tosses the suitcase across the hall. I wince as the shattering glass indicates that it hit one of the picture frames lining the wall; Rin however seems unaffected by the noise or the possibility that she had broken one of my mother's picture frames. Instead she crosses into the threshold of my room, her dark chocolate eyes giving me a level-calculating stare. Suddenly before I can even blink an eyelash Rin's right hands comes flying in to smack me across the face. I stumble backward from my cousin out of pain and recoil.  
  
Slowly I raise my hand to the wounded cheek, my eyes growing wide as my cousin sits down on the end of my bed as if nothing is wrong, that she hadn't just hauled off and smacked my face for no apparent reason. I couldn't help but ask her why even though I refused to move close to her just in case she would slap me again.  
  
Rin lifted her head to face me and for a moment our eyes meet but then she turned her gaze to some other point in my room. With the same cold and level voice she replied, "I hit you because I was hoping to knock some sense into you."  
  
I blink my eyes owlishly, "Knock some sense into me?" I laugh, not a fun or relived laugh but a bitter phony laugh that sounds fake even to my own ears. I muster up my best, no-I-am-alright-smile as I return Rin's comment, "You're so silly Rin! I may not seem all together sometimes that isn't a reason to just slap the crud out of me."  
  
Rin whipped her head around to face me, her dark eyes now narrowed in anger. I can't suppress a cringe as she arises from the end of my bed to approach me. But I hadn't needed to worry because all she did was pull up one of my chairs to sit across from me. For a few moments we just stared at each other, both projecting masks to one another even though we both knew that the other was bluffing. We are very close friends and cousins that we are almost blood related sisters so it is next to impossible to keep secrets from one another.  
  
Finally Rin broke the silence with a heavy sigh before she spoke; "As much as I hate to ask this Kagura but what is wrong?"  
  
"Nothing." I reply quickly, apparently too quickly for Rin's taste because her eyes narrow again.  
  
"Kagura, we both know that you're lying so why not just get it over with and tell me why you have been acting so strange recently?"  
  
"I am not acting strange."  
  
"You have been crying again." Rin cut in tartly.  
  
"No.." I start to say but my voice trails off into oblivion because I know that I can't lie to her so openly.  
  
Again silence falls upon us. I refuse to tell her anything. This is my responsibility, no one else's burden but my own. Why can't she see that? Why can't he leave me alone? Just let me escape.  
  
"This is all about Kyou, isn't?" Rin questions but the way she says it lets me know that she has understood all along why I have been acting "strange".  
  
I cry  
  
Before I can even thinking of stopping myself I begin crying all over again. Strangled sobs struggle to rise out of my throat as bitter hot tears flow down my face unabated. My hands move to cover my face as if to cover the obvious in vain. I can't stand this anymore. I just can't keep it all inside of me, and yet I am so ashamed of breaking down in front of someone especially Rin. I have always admired her even though she is younger than me; but I admire her strength the most, which was very evident when she willingly let Haru go for his own good even though it deeply pained her to do so.  
  
I have been raising up my hands, drive another nail in  
  
Why can't I be strong like that?  
  
Why do I always have to seek solace instead of being able to keep my feelings locked away until I can deal with them on my own?  
  
Where are those angels when you need them?  
  
I was so absorbed inside my misery that I hadn't noticed that Rin had moved from her chair until I felt her arms embrace me. I tried to back away but she held me tighter.  
  
"Shhh, it's alright Kagura. I know. I know how you feel."  
  
Everyday we crucify ourselves  
  
Those words made me feel so much better. She understood how it was to lose someone important to you. But on the other hand she didn't understand this level of pain. I never let Kyou go willingly like I did, a girl whom I had considered a friend stole him from me. Rin couldn't understand the guilt and pain I was going through.  
  
Everyday I crucify myself  
  
"You.you don't understand." I whispered even as she moved to tilt my head to rest on her chest.  
  
"I do understand Kagura." Rin replied softly.  
  
"You don't!" I yell as I tried to punch her with my balled up fists. How dare she try to sympathize with me when she could never understand this horrible pain that is consuming me. Rin blocked my fist with her free arm. I lifted my head to glare at her with my red-rimmed eyes, "Stop pretending to understand. I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help!"  
  
I spun out of Rin's reach and headed for the door. Surprised that she hadn't reached out to capture me again I turned my head to see her standing right where I left her, her head lowered with her long hair covering her face. At first I thought that Rin was so angry with me that she couldn't bare to even look at me. But just as I turned to walk away I heard the first sobs. Rin was.crying? This is wrong. I have never seen Rin cry before and I have known her for years.  
  
Why do we crucify ourselves?  
  
I stood frozen in front of my partially open door, stunned by this revelation. I listened to Rin as she struggled to stifle her cries. Her tear-choked voice startled me, "Do you think it was easy for me.to leave Haru?"  
  
"No," I replied almost instantly, "I can't imagine how you must have felt."  
  
"The same way you do." Rin said as she lifted her head. I can see the tears simmering off of her face and eyes.  
  
"I felt hurt that I couldn't hang on to him, that I couldn't be with him forever. I hated myself for letting him go, I hated him for not protesting or at least asking why. I felt guilty for abandoning him and the relationship that we had created together. I feel bitter knowing that what is done is done and that one day he will find someone better than me. And even though I know that what I did was the right thing, I still can't help but feel sad."  
  
I couldn't find the words to say to Rin. I didn't have anything to apologize for, I didn't know if she needed to be consoled or if she was telling me this to help me.  
  
"Rin I."  
  
"Don't you see Kagura, I know what you are going through." Rin cut in. "I know better than anyone what it feels like to give the one you love for someone else; but I do feel sorry for you because you have to watch them be together rather than wait for it to happen. You want them to be happy together but yet you can't let go."  
  
I nodded in reply, "Yes, that is why I was going to run away."  
  
"That won't solve anything!" Rin said sharply.  
  
I shook my head as tears began to well in my eyes again, "The more time I spend here thinking about what they mean to each other, how I can't interfere for fear of ruining everything, how I have to keep all of this pain bottled inside of me; the more I die inside. Maybe if I am out of the picture Kyou and Tohru can move their relationship forward without having to worry about me getting in the way."  
  
"You selfish bitch!" Rin hissed, "You're such a hypocrite! You say that you want Kyou and Tohru to be happy and yet you plan on running away from home? How do you think they will feel when they find out that you ran away because of their relationship? That ditz Tohru would probably kill her relationship with Kyou out of guilt and Kyou would become even more embittered than he has been in the past because of it. Is that what you want Kagura, to ruin their lives because of your selfishness?"  
  
"Then what should I do?" I ask.  
  
"Just keep doing what you have been doing, only confide your pain in those you trust so long as you don't interfere with Tohru or Kyou. It may be hard but running away isn't the answer."  
  
Nothing I do is good enough for you  
  
"I am not like you!" I yelled back at Rin. "I can't just keep it all inside of me; I have got to express myself and my emotions otherwise I'll explode. I can't stay here just watching them become closer and closer without saying or doing something that everyone will end up regretting in the end."  
  
Why do we  
  
There is nothing left to say, both of us have exhausted our lies and our excuses to the point that we are both sick of each other's presence. I move to open the door all of the way; hopefully I can retrieve my suitcase from the hall and continue on with my plan. My absence won't cause anyone pain or grief. This is the only solution to my problem. Maybe when I am stronger or have a love of my own will I return to visit my relatives but right now it hurts too much.  
  
Crucify ourselves?  
  
"Kagura,"  
  
I turned my head to see Rin standing in the doorway of my room. I give her a stare that tells her that I am tired of her trying to talk me out of it; but for once that wasn't her intentions.  
  
Everyday I  
  
"If you really want to go through with this the least you can do is say goodbye to Kyou."  
  
Crucify  
  
"No. The last thing I want to do is see him." I growl as I pick up my suitcase.  
  
Myself  
  
"Please," Rin pleaded, "For my sake just talk to him before you go. You don't even have to tell him that you are leaving or why. Just talk to him."  
  
Why do we  
  
"Why do you care?" I asked.  
  
"I don't care about Kyou or Tohru's relationship. I care about you and since this whole mess is tearing you apart the least you can do is find out whether what is going between Tohru and Kyou is a love interest or not. It would be stupid to have you take off for years only for you to come back and find out that they were never together to begin with."  
  
Curcify ourselves?  
  
That sounded reasonable enough, but Rin has forgotten that I can't control myself when I am around Kyou; I haven't had a normal conversation with him for years. Our visits always begin and end with me beating the crud out of Kyou, not a real icebreaker or a proper farewell in my opinion.  
  
Crucify myself  
  
"I'll think about it Rin." I lie before I pick up my suitcase and exit the hall. I pause for a moment wondering if I should leave my mother a note or not. I decide not to. Let her worry. I am an adult now, so I can take care of myself.  
  
I slide my shoes back on then close the front door behind me with a click, locking it in place. With my suitcase in hand I walk towards the dimly light pathway that lead out of the Souma complex and out into the world.  
  
Why do we chain?  
  
Finally I'll be able to escape this place. No more pain, no more suffering, no more demands to fall short of. I cock my head slightly to see the light on in my bedroom. Rin is leaning out of the window, too far away for me to read the expression on her face. Is she angry with me? Disappointed? Well too bad because I'll never come back and I refuse to talk to Kyou.  
  
Never going back  
  
Notes: Whew that was kind of a long chapter, for me at least. Thanks for reading. See ya next chapter ^_^ P.S. I apologize to the Rin fans if I made her a bit out of characters and for upping the rating but it had to be done so that I wouldn't get in trouble with the webmasters. Thanks again! 


	3. Everything

All of Me

Notes: Hiya Yes I know that it has been quite awhile since I updated any fic let alone this one but please dear readers spare me your wrath…that is if any of you are still reading this. Anywho I've finally found the perfect song to wrap this now songfic saga up. It has literally been under my nose for the past month or so and now matter how I tried to configure the story this song always came back to me…well that might be that I had it playing constantly on my cd player but that's a entirely different matter all together.

Disclaimers: Still don't own Fruits Basket although I would love to claim Shigure, Ayama, and Hatori as my slaves. And as much as I love "Everything" it belongs not to me but the music artists of Lifehouse and whoever owns them. This piece of fiction was not made to benefit me with money, fame, esteem etc…and even if it was it probably wouldn't work so please no suing since I am a poor poor little girl.

Warning: Some characters may be a tab bit OOC…if so please forgive me.

Everything

**_Find me here_**…

Walking down a very familiar dirt pathway I found myself moving backward then forward. Almost half a mile behind me was the entrance or rather exit into civilization, to paved streets that could go on forever, one or two that might lead to my original destination of the airport, but these paths for being so close now seemed worlds away as I kept trotting forward. My hands still clutching my full suitcase began to twinge in discomfort but the rest of my body was determined to walk onward.

More than once the question of just why I was here bothered me. Why was I here? Haven't I spent most of my energy not to mention all of my sanity just to get away from the place and the illicit emotions that one of its occupants arouses? Who know because I sure don't. I swear to you I had no intention to come here. I was standing on the curb and had just hailed a taxi but just as the driver pulled up I found myself turning around and walking this way.

Turning my head I know that now is the time to turn back since I haven't yet reached the house or even approached close enough to have anyone see me and yet my feet keep walking. I am so frustrated that I could scream.

I don't want to see him!

I don't want him to see how much of a coward I am!

That's why I have to turn back.

But…I can't.

Because I must see him.

Biting my lips I feel emotions so strong that they overwhelm my very thoughts over. Before I know it I am running, my legs striding out faster with each footfall until the last footfall lands me directly in front of a screen door that I have shattered to pieces more than once. This time though rather than trembling with excitement I am afraid as my right hand leaves the safety of the suitcase handle to reach out and slowly pull back the screen door.

I don't want to do this.

Why can't my heart just let me run away and hide?

Beating in response to my question the aforementioned literally aches just thinking about seeing Kyo but at the same time is elated beyond measure.

So my hand rests against the door, limp and unwilling to even push it back to let a little light from the living room shine out onto me.

_**And speak to me…**_

"Kagura?"

I blinked at hearing my name called. Slowly I looked up to see Shigure standing in the now half open doorway. He's face looked surprised and he held a half finished cigarette in his right hand.

Mustering up the best smile that I could I arise to my feet only to have the dam holding back my tears break loose. My arms instantly grasped around the cousin who I had always viewed as a big brother. I rested my head against his clothed chest, his yakata robe smelling of cigarette smoke with a small hint of an earthy scent…maybe pine but at the moment I didn't care what he smelled like just that I needed a shoulder to cry on right then and there.

_**I want to feel you**_

I sobbed against his chest, my entire body shivering as I tried so hard to speak, to apologize for being at his house so late, for crying, for every single sin I had ever committed in my life but no words came out just strangled wet croaks. Shigure wrapping his arms around me only made it worse though since I really didn't want him to touch me. Only Kyo had the right to hold me if I was crying. But then again I didn't protest to the brotherly embrace either.

Somehow Shigure had managed to maneuver me inside the house. He said something about me sitting down while he got tea but I clung to his robe, still crying but not as violently as before, until he had to pry my hands away from him and promise that he would be back.

Having no choice but to believe him I sat down on the floor, curling my legs underneath me. My tear blurred eyes just stared ahead for a few moments. I've never felt so emotionally weak in my entire life. Sure my anger and my passion have overcome me lots of times but at this moment I felt so lost and vulnerable.

_**I need to hear you.**_

At that moment the screen door opened again and I could hear Thoru's voice along with my heart's passion/enemy. They were having a very animate conversation about something…I really wasn't listening. I couldn't help but cringe as I felt another wet tear slide down my face.

Thoru must have spotted me first because I heard a small surprised gasp and then her sweet voice calling out," Kagura-san? What are you doing here so late?"

I glanced up just as Kyo was slowly edging away from Thoru trying to make his escape from me.

A small bittersweet smile came on my lips as I remained seated but my hands underneath the table trembled.

I looked over Thoru's shoulders to glance at him trying to tell him that it was alright, that I wasn't going to 'attack' him this time.

He stared back at me. A very puzzled expression crossed his face and only then did he bound up stairs, most likely the roof, without another word spoke to either Thoru or myself.

With an inescapable sigh I lowered my head, my gaze only facing the table.

Thoru slowly walked over to the table and then sat at the end opposite of me.

For an eternal moment silence passed between us then finally Thoru spoke first.

"So…what brings you out here Kagura-san?"

I so wanted to be cruel. More than ever I wanted to scream at her but kept silent which was just as well since at that moment Shigure came in and placed a cup of tea in front of me, which I didn't bother to pick up.

Shigure cleared his throat and delicately asked Thoru to leave me and him alone to talk. She agreed and left the room in favor to clean up the kitchen and get a head start on fixing the lunches for tomorrow's school day.

Taking Thoru's spot across from me Shigure pulled an ashtray close to him and lit another cigarette.

Seconds ticked by like hours as I seemed to focus on nothing else but the steam slowly rising from my tea and then quickly disappearing.

"So?" Shigure began as he grinded the butt of his cigarette out.

"So what?" I asked dully.

"Would you mind telling me what you are doing here Kagura? With a suitcase? And practically bawling your eyes out?"

I felt my fists close in on themselves, my body shivered again as tears threatened to fall again.

"I…I am running away from home." I replied weakly, knowing very well that he would find such a move very childish and even stupid.

He didn't say any of those things though, not even hinted as thinking of such. He only shrugged his shoulders and calmly replied, "I figured as much. The question is why Kagura?"

"I'd rather not say," I whispered as I attempted to reach for the cup of now lukewarm tea.

A delicate ebony brow lifted up as Shigure replied, "You might as well tell me now Kagura. Otherwise I'll have no choice but guess…and I'll most likely be wrong."

I shrugged in response as I took a small sip of the tea, it was very bitter and needed some sugar.

"Hmm let me think. This wouldn't have anything to do with our resident flower and a certain orange headed kitty would it?"

Clash.

The hand holding the cup was suddenly empty as pieces of blue china littered my side of the table, but these pieces weren't merely broken but crushed in my grip.

I tried so hard to smile, "You were right about you guessing wrong." I laughed weakly as I tried to scoot away from the tea that was dripping off of the table and onto the floor.

Shigure glanced up at me, all jokes aside he really does have a scary gaze when you're the one caught under it.

"Kagura I know you better than that. You're worried about Thoru and Kyou…"

"That's a lie!" I snapped loudly my right hand smashing against the wooden table sending some china pieces flying to the floor to wallow in the shallow pools of tea.

Suddenly I came back to my senses but by then it was too late to deny my outburst.

And what's worse was that Shigure knew that I couldn't deny my feelings. I've never been closed about anything. That's why I admire him and Rin, they are strong people who can easily turn their emotions on or off for the most part, or even change themselves so that others don't know what their feeling.

I slowly spoke in trembles, "It's not true is it? That there are…together?" I asked weakly, dreading and yet expecting the answer.

Shigure leaned back, his head resting against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest," That really isn't my place to say. You should ask Thoru or Kyo."

That made perfect sense of course…but damn near imposable for me to achieve and I told Shigure as much.

"So that's it then. You're going to run away from a broken heart?" he asked, sounding a bit resentful.

"Yes. But Shigure you don't understand…"

"I understand that you're a coward. And if that's the case then I am very disappointed in you Kagura because I thought you had a strong will that nothing especially petty jealousy could kill…"

"S…she…" I began to stutter.

"Don't blame Thoru for your cowardice. It isn't her fault.."

"Yes it is!" I howled, covering my own ears to keep from hearing my own screams.

"It's her fault! It always has been! I wish she never came to this place! I wish that she never met Kyo!"

Even though I was screaming my lungs out Shigure, just a calm as the beginning stated, "True. It might have been better if she never came to us."

This confession shocked me.

"..What did you say?" I asked softly.

Shigure continued, "I said you're correct in assuming that everything would have been better without her. Kyo would still be a raving bad tempered angst ridden kitten, Yuki would still be a timid, tormented soul, yours truly…well I wouldn't have changed much actually, Ayama wouldn't have reconnected with his 'lost' littler brother. Hatori would still be…"

"Alright I get the picture." I muttered now feeling terrible for every single word that I had tossed out.

Folding my arms onto the table I laid my head across them staring up at Shigure.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

I scowled, "Seriously."

"Alright alright. Yes you may ask Kagura."

I took in a deep breath but that really didn't help, better than nothing I suppose.

"Have you ever…fallen in love with someone?" I asked so abruptly that at first I thought Shigure didn't quite hear me.

But a soft chuckle from his end of the table told me otherwise.

"Maybe," was his cryptic reply.

I frowned at him, "Be serious."

He wasn't laughing now.

I searched his face for a hint of him holding back a snicker but nothing was visible on his face.

A literal brick wall only with flesh and human features stared back at me or rather past me as if he was wracking his brains to figure out if he had ever really been in love before.

Taking another cigarette out of his pack…he's going to end up killing himself with those things one of these day, him and Hatori both. Shigure's held his gaze with mine. Still unwavering and determined, he must want to make me crack or confess something.

Taking a slow drag from the white cylinder his gazed softened slightly from glaring to thoughtful.

"Let me ask you a question Kagura and be honest with me."

I gave him a curt nod then waited what seemed like forever for him to ask his infernal question.

Finally he rested his cigarette onto the ash try and placed both arms on the table folding his hands to support his chin as he looked at me.

"What makes you think that you are in love with Kyo?"

A few months ago I would have gawked at the question

How do I know if I am in love with Kyo?

Why the very fact that I am living and breathing should be enough reason.

But months now seem like an entirely different lifetime.

Curling my fists against the grain of the wooden table I feel skin grow cold but I can't cry again, mostly because all my tears have been wasted early this evening from sunset up until this moment.

Now…

"I…I am not sure." I whispered my eyes landing on the broken tea cup which I suddenly feel kinship to.

Shigure snorted, "You can do better than that."

I remained silent, biting my lip to the point that I could have drawn blood.

"Kagura.." Shigure began in warning tone.

"I can't do it!" I finally cried out, my hand reaching to the couch where my suitcase laid.

"Just let me go! Let me run away."

"No I can't…" Shigure began to protest

I spun my head back to glare at him.

"D…don't you dare try to stop me either Shigure!" I screamed as my hand grasped my bag and I stood up.

"Kagura wait!" Shigure said scrambling to his feet.

"I am tried of waiting!" I yelled in his face.

My eyes seemed to have found a reservoir of salt water because tears flowed again down my cheeks.

Saying what I thought was my final thoughts on the matter I rushed across the room to pull open the door. As soon as I had slung it back, I blindly ran into the forest. I had to get as far away from the house as I possibility could.

This wasn't meant to happen though. Leaning up against the trunk of a tree I let out a deep shaking sigh. The hand holding my suitcase slowly sank and then grew slack dropping it to my feet.

Shigure is right…my courage that allowed me to openly speak my heart has failed me when I needed it most.

Sinking to my knees I try so hard to choke back the tears that I thought had dried awhile back.

Why?

I've told people that I love Kyo so why does it hurt so much to be honest now?

Why couldn't I give an answer to Shigure's question?

Do I…do I really love Kyo?

A sharp pain rippled through my heart.

Could I be leaving the safety of home for the wrong reason?

What am I really running away from?

**_You are the light…._**

Leaving my suitcase beside the tree I pick myself off of the ground, absently brush off the dirt on the fabric of my dress and then march myself back inside the house. I slide open the door much to the surprise of Shigure but I don't speak a word to him or even look his way because I fear any distraction might cause me to lose focus.

_**That's leading me to the place…**_

Climbing up the stairs I reach the second floor. Yuki's bedroom door is open as he leans over his desk probably studying for some test or maybe even working on something for the student counsel but it really doesn't matter to me. As usual my mind is only focused on one thing…or rather one person but for a different reason. Normally this sort of automation is exciting and a bit frightening, exciting in the fact that I am so overwhelmed with joy that I just want to hug Kyo to pieces…frightening in the same way because I sometimes go a bit overboard and become slightly unhinged. Reaching standing underneath the ladder leading to the roof I climb up sliding the 'secret' panel back allowing me enough space to crawl through.

_**Where I find peace again**_

Crowning over the top of the panel and onto the roof I gulp as I glanced down at the ground. I've always hated being high up, near petrified actually but even when I was little I would always be dead determined to reach Kyo when he would scramble up into his high hiding places. Looking away from the slanted drop I almost step over Kyo whom is calmly lying on his back, face turned to the sky but his eyes are closed.

He just looks so handsome…and peaceful. Mind you his energy is one of the things I like about him…but I would often wish he wouldn't yell so much.

Not wanting to disturb him I scooted back a bit and sat down Indian style, for a few moments I spent silently contemplating his relaxed face.

If this was the work of Thoru's presence then I sincerely take back all the things I said earlier…but at the same time I feel so distant from him even though we're inches apart.

I want to reach out and touch him, to brush my fingers against his orange locks but I silently bite my lip, curling my fingers tightly into the skin of my knees causing white marks to appear in the skin.

I am a horrible, monstrous person for wanting to touch someone who isn't mine.

But at the same time…if I don't love Kyo…then who am I?

He's been apart of my existence for so long that without him…

I can't do this anymore I have to reach out to him. Bring him back for just a few moments. I want to remind him that I am here, that I want to actually talk to him and not give chase.

Gently I place my hand on his shoulder…my fingers trembling slightly as I brushed against his shirt then I saw more than felt his hand slowly clasp over mine.

I let out a soft gasp.

He knew that I was here and yet he didn't want to run away from me?!

My heart swelled for a brief moment only then…

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a gruff manner.

"I…uh that is…" I began to stutter as my hand started to tremble again this time trapped under his.

He opened his eyes gazing at me in suspicion before slowly releasing my hand then sitting up. The defensive glare in his eyes never left.

"I…I wanted to talk to you." I whispered as I gazed down at my hand he had pulled away from.

"Talk?!" he snorted, "Normally you chase me around the house and try to beat the crap out of me over stuff I didn't do…"

"Not tonight." I cut in, still staring down at my hand and trying so hard to block out every raging emotion inside of me.

Silence settled between us and I almost wish that he would yell at me…or at least say something because I don't want to say what I have to. Right now I give anything to be struck mute. These words…these horrible words burn on my tongue but I refuse to say them.

_**You are the strength…**_

"Why do I love you?" I asked softly.

"…What?"

_**That keeps me walking.**_

I tightened my right hand's grip on my knee causing marks to delve into the skin from the fingernails as I tried to move my lips to form the words again.

They come out louder but broken and wet with tears I am very close to shedding," W…why do I love you?!" I repeat before I lower my head to the point that it touches my chin.

He's seems to be struck dumb but any minute I was expecting him to reply with 'How the hell should I know?!' but not tonight. Tonight may be my last night to see him and I want to know why I have dedicated my youth, my heart, my very being to someone who seems to hate me.

Slowly I lifted my head, I dreaded each small incline though because I knew scolding salt water was burning my eyes but couldn't fall.

"I think that I know one reason…" I began as my lips quivered but I calmed them with a quick bite.

_**You are the hope…**_

"It's because I am selfish. I…I don't want to be left alone." I confessed as I finally looked him in the eye.

"I know that I have no reason to feel 'alone'. I have my parents who love me even though I am what I am. I have Rin who's like a big sis to me. I have cousins who are all like siblings too because we feel each other's pain about the curse. I should feel so fulfilled, blessed even… but I still felt alone."

My fingernails dug deeper into my knee causing it to bleed as I fought to impulse to reach out to hug him, I fear that if I so much as move an inch Kyo might think I am trying to chase him and would run away. This is too important for that to happen.

I took in a deep breath as I steel myself for more fleshing out of buried emotions.

_**That keeps me trusting…**_

"But when I first saw you…even though we were just kids I felt it." I raised my left hand to rest on my thudding heart, "I knew here long before I knew in my mind that I had found a missing piece…maybe THE missing piece in my life. Crazy right, I mean who knows that kind of stuff when you're just a little kid?" I said with a nervous giggle even though I didn't find it remotely funny and a glance told me that Kyo was either bored or was trying to plan his escape from me so I sheepishly glanced down at the roof tile.

'Th…the point I am trying to make is that…" I began to stutter now feeling like a complete idiot and wanting nothing more than jump off the roof and break my neck, "I…need you in my life. I just can't stand the thought of you one day…growing up and leaving me behind."

_**You are my purpose…**_

Tears desperately wanted to flow freely, they pooled around my lower eyelids begging for release but I knew once I stared crying there would be no more coherent speaking. Closing my mouth I waited for him to reply, to say something anything that could either dam or save me.

Minutes passed and nothing came of them.

_**You're everything…**_

I almost growled behind my teeth but I had to hold it in check, "Do I matter so little to you that you can't even dignify my confession with even a single word? Am I that worthless to you that you…you don't even care that you are my world? That my existence relies on you doesn't concern you in the least?!"

At last he turned his head to face me he moved to speak but before he could I wrapped my arms around him in a hug, not the usual death squeeze of a snake but a motion that desperately tries to express what I can't say in words. The phrases, the very letters to form words that come close to what I feel fail me.

**_And how can I stand here with you…_**

Resting my head on his shoulder I hiccup a cry, I want to fully wrap my arms around him, to hold his body so close to mine. He has no idea how much this is killing me just to touch him even though I am very uncertain about whether or not he loves Thoru. He's arms never came to welcome me but I honestly didn't expect them to.

"I am sorry," I whispered as I stared out over his shoulder, tears for hopefully the final time caressing my cheeks with their bitterness.

_**And not be moved by you…**_

"I am sorry that I ever told you that I loved you. I am sorry for making you apart of my world. I am so sorry that I have to let you go…but I have to or you'll never be happy."

No…this can't be. How could I be giving up on him?! What is wrong with me?! I can't just release him to Thoru! Running away would have solved all of this pain effortlessly, I wouldn't have to say these horrible things and I could have left without knowing what happens to them but the more I talk the more I want to stay.

"I want you to be happy Kyo. I want you to find your 'place' to find someone who loves you…all of you the good and the bad. I…honestly think that Thoru would be the best for you. I can never be like her…I am not that open, that loving."

"I…I was afraid when your true form was released but Thoru went to you despite being afraid. That's real love….not my selfish clinging. And for that I am sorry for ever offering my affections."

Slowly I pulled myself away from him. Shivering I want nothing more than the climb downstairs and go home, curl under my blanket and hope that one can die from a broken heart because I really don't think I can follow through with my promise of letting him go without a expanse of geographical distance.

Glancing at the roof I try to force my legs to unfold and raise me up but I remained glued and this time it isn't because my courage has faltered on me.

**_You calm the storms and you give me rest…_**

I blinked but no amount of blinking could brush away the sight of Kyo's right arm resting on my shoulder as the other arm wrapped very loosely around my waist and drew me back to rest my head on his shoulder.

"You're really dumb, you don't have to…apologize for that." he said gruffly.

_**You still my heart…**_

My heart just skipped a beat, never mind he was kind of insulting me.

Still kind of confused I couldn't help but ask why.

Kyo glanced at me and I felt my whole being melted. He wasn't angry at me, wasn't screaming, or trying to run away…oh if only he wasn't attached to Thoru.

That thought alone begged me to push him away but then again this is something that I have been hopping for so I am not ready to give it up just yet.

_**And you take my breath away…**_

"You shouldn't…have to apologize for how you feel Kagura."

Glancing up at him in disbelief I knew that my mouth must have been hanging wide open.

"But…but you're in love with Thoru." I whispered in response as I lowered my head to face the roof tiles but Kyo perched his index finger under my chin to lift it back up.

"Look Kagura…I am not in love with Thoru."

_**Would you take me in?**_

My jaw dropped, closed, and then opened again. I must have looked ridiculous like a fish gasping for air or something similar.

"What?! But when you transformed into your true form she went to go find you and I was too afraid to even look at you. How could you not love someone like that? Someone who loves so honestly and completely?" I asked utterly bemused.

_**Take me deeper now.**_

"Thoru…Thoru is a loving person. And maybe I do feel something for her but not love. She's kind of like a little sister to me; she's very sweet but a bit hopeless."

I couldn't help to be giggle, not to be mean though because Thoru is a bit lost without other people to help her…but then again without Kyo I couldn't function so I really have no place to talk either.

_**And how can I stand here with you?**_

I felt a blush grace my cheeks as I felt fingers gently brush against the side of my face.

I couldn't help it I just leaped into his arms causing him to fall backward onto the roof. He left out an 'oomph' of protest but I wouldn't be deterred. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as close to me as I could without hurting him.

_**And not be moved by you?**_

"So that's it? You're mine again?" I asked excitedly.

"I never was 'yours' to begin with!" Kyo growled but I easily brushed over the gruff reaction until he forced me to let him sit up.

"I…sorry I kind of got carried away didn't I?" I said meekly.

Kyo sighed but then placed his arm over my shoulder. The blush that had graced my face once increased to the point that I must have looked like a giant tomato. I can't believe this is happening. Kyo holding me in his arms and hugging me…I must be dreaming. I pinch the skin of my right arm and wince at the sting but find his arm resting on my shoulder.

_**Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**_

"You know Kagura…you're…tolerable when you're not running around trying to beat me up."

"Thank you…I think" I muttered still unable to move my eyes away from his arm on my shoulder.

'Maybe…" Kyo stared but then his voice trailed away.

"Yes?" I asked him this time moving my head up to glance at him.

_**Cause you're all I want. You're all I need.**_

"I mean it wouldn't be so horrible…if you don't try to constantly beat me up or try to chase me around so maybe we could…"

I felt my lungs involuntary hold my breath, "Yes?"

"Maybe we could…go out sometime…like a date or something." Kyo mumbled.

_**You're everything.**_

"You…you're not serious…are you?" I questioned still not believing my ears.

_**And how can I**_

Kyo just nodded.

"You're just not doing this out of pity are you?" I stared to say.

_**Stand here with you…**_

"What?! You think I would do something like that out of 'sympathy'?! I want to ask you because I…want to." Kyo said, this time his head was turned away but I could see a very light blush grace his cheeks.

_**And not be moved by you?**_

For a few moment, my little world that had been spinning out of control all evening suddenly grinded to a abrupt halt.

"You really…want to go out on a date…with me?" I squeaked.

"Yes already." Kyo said in a exasperated tone of voice.

Struck speechless I just stood frozen in time until finally I reached out with my arms and wrap them around Kyo's waist hugging him.

"I would like that…very much." I said shedding truly my last tears of tonight…tears of joy.

_**Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?**_

Notes: Yes my trio of song fic is finish! I hope you guys like it…I've worked on and off on it for two weeks. Please review and bye for now!


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